Welcome to “The Barbarian’s Guide to Cooking,” where culinary adventures and ancient warriors collide! Ever wondered if there’s a bit of barbarian in you? Or perhaps in that neighbor who always seems to be grilling something exotic? Well, in the days of yore, a ‘barbarian’ was simply someone from a land beyond one’s own. So, in the spirit of those intrepid explorers, we venture into the vast world of flavors, each of us a culinary barbarian in our kitchen kingdoms!

Here, our recipes are as authentic as a warrior’s honor, staying true to their roots. But, when tradition meets our wild side, we’re not afraid to wield our culinary axes for a bold twist – that’s the barbarian way!

But, fair warning, brave traveler: this site is more than just a trove of recipes, cooking hacks, and globetrotting advice. It’s a rollicking feast hall where history, satire, and a generous sprinkle of humor come together. So, grab your apron-shield and join Conan and his band of merry kitchen marauders as we embark on a quest to conquer the culinary world, one barbaric bite at a time!

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The Barbarian's Guide to Cooking

Imagine this: The in-laws are marching over for a grand barbecue, and you, brave culinary warrior, are at the helm of the GrillMaster 5000. Your excitement sizzles like a steak on the grill, but alas! A twist in the tale – the BBQ sauce has vanished, gifted to the neighbors for their own feast. What does a true Barbarian chef do in such a sauce-less predicament? Turn to the sacred scrolls on page #132 of your "Barbarian’s Guide to Cooking" and embark on a flavor quest! You could charge to your neighbor's stronghold, reclaiming the BBQ sauce with a triumphant roar. Or, you might summon your resourceful partner: “O noble companion, venture forth to gather the elixir of BBQ and, while you're at it, a six-pack of the finest ale!” Perhaps you'll face the elder chieftain (a.k.a. father-in-law) with a bold declaration, "Stand back, noble elder, for I shall concoct a BBQ sauce of legendary proportions!" Choose any of these heroic paths, and there will be no doubt left in the realm about the kind of BBQ Barbarian you truly are!

Conan

Master Chef