Welcome to the Barbarian’s Guide to Cooking.  You might be asking yourself, “Am I a barbarian?”, or “How can I tell if my neighbor is a barbarian?”  The original definition of barbarian is anyone who is from a foreign land.  So the short answer to your questions is: Yes, everyone in the world is a Barbarian when visiting another country.

The recipes we publish on this website are as true to it’s origan as we can get.  If we believe we can improve the original recipe, then we cook like a barbarian and kick it into high gear.

That being said, readers should be warned that aside for Recipes, Cooking Tips, Travel Advice and Barbarian History, we have also packed this website is full of satire, sarcasm and humor.  So ride along with Conan and his horde as we Conquer the World of Cooking, barbarian style!

Wisdom From the Sage

Nothing good comes from letting your worries stand in your way. Be bold, and push back.

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The Barbarian's World Map of Food and Travel

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Meet The BarbariansFrom the Pages of History
Crush Your Enemies, See Them Driven Before You and Hear the Lamentations of Their Women!

Meet the TeamThe Barbarian Hoard
The Barbarian Hoard

Conan the Barbarian Chef
So, did Conan return the wayward taco of King Osric to his dinner plate. And having no further concern, he and his companions sought adventure in the West. Many cooking schools and chili cook-offs did Conan attend. Honor and praise were heaped upon his name and, in time, he became a chef by his own hand... And this story shall also be told.
Freya the Food Chieftain
Freya the Food Chieftain has Councled Chefs on Essential Kitchen Tips and Tricks and provided informative Gardening Help for the at-home gardener. Read her exclusive Cast Iron Chef Interviews and Reviews, and stay up to date with the latest Kitchen Equipment and Tools Reviews.
Leif the Traveling Wayfinder
Leif is a Wayfinder for travelers, nomads, wanderers, and adventurers on their journies through the world. For 8 years he was a Pathfinder for the Foreign Legion and circled the globe 3 times in their service.
Sigrid the Soothsayer
Sigrid is our resident historian and soothsayer. Sigrid says "You cannot plan for the future if you don't learn from the past".

A Barbarian's Meal Planer
A Random Selection to Get You Through the Day!

LUNCH

DINNER

DESSERTS

DRINKS

16
Recipes Cooked
4
Kitchen & Garden Tips
12
Cities Visited
4
Writing the Barbarian Past

Learn to Cook Like a Barbarian:

THE BARBARIAN'S GUIDE TO COOKING

The Barbarian's Guide to Cooking

Your wife has just informed you that the inlaws are coming over for a barbecue and you’re going to be grilling. You are excited because you’re going to be using your new GrillMaster 5000. As you fire up the grill, you discover you’re out of BBQ sauce because your wife gave it to the neighbors for a barbecue they're having.

What’s a Barbarian to do? Turn to page #132 in your Barbarian’s Guide to Cooking and follow with me to discover the correct course of action.

  1. You stomp over to your neighbor’s house, kick down the door and snatch the BBQ sauce from the hands of your neighbor.”
  2. You tell your wife “Come hither winch and fetch me a new bottle of BBQ sauce and a six pack of beer from the store.”
  3. Tell your father-in-law “Step aside you saxon dog, I have a recipe for BBQ sauce.”

  4. Use any of these phrases in such a situation and there will be no doubt in anyone's mind about what kind of Barbarian you are.

    Conan

    Master Chef