Welcome to “The Barbarian’s Guide to Cooking,” where culinary adventures and ancient warriors collide! Ever wondered if there’s a bit of barbarian in you? Or perhaps in that neighbor who always seems to be grilling something exotic? Well, in the days of yore, a ‘barbarian’ was simply someone from a land beyond one’s own. So, in the spirit of those intrepid explorers, we venture into the vast world of flavors, each of us a culinary barbarian in our kitchen kingdoms!

Here, our recipes are as authentic as a warrior’s honor, staying true to their roots. But, when tradition meets our wild side, we’re not afraid to wield our culinary axes for a bold twist – that’s the barbarian way!

But, fair warning, brave traveler: this site is more than just a trove of recipes, cooking hacks, and globetrotting advice. It’s a rollicking feast hall where history, satire, and a generous sprinkle of humor come together. So, grab your apron-shield and join Conan and his band of merry kitchen marauders as we embark on a quest to conquer the culinary world, one barbaric bite at a time!

Wisdom From the Sage

No matter how cautiously you live there is no escaping the fatal clutches of old age. So then, better to join the fray and fight proudly for something worth obtaining.

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The Barbarian's World Map of Food and Travel

Join the Barbarian HordeComing Soon
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Become a Barbarian

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Welcome to the Horde

By pledging to become a Barbarian, you gain advantages not available to others.

  • Subscription to The Barbarian Times
  • Access to All Recipes
  • Access to All Chef Counseling
  • Access to All Travel Wisdom
  • Access to All Barbarian History
  • No Access to Personal Recipe Box
  • No Access to Personal Meal Planer
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  • 10% off Copy of The Barbarian's Guide to Cooking

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Lead the Horde

By pledging to become a Chieftain, you gain advantages not available to other Barbarians.

  • Subscription to The Barbarian Times
  • Access to All Recipes
  • Access to All Chef Counseling
  • Access to All Travel Wisdom
  • Access to All Barbarian History
  • Access to Personal Recipe Box
  • Access to Personal Meal Planer
  • A Barbarian Chieftain Sticker
  • 20% off Copy of The Barbarian's Guide to Cooking

Become a Demi-God

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Rule the Horde

By pledging to become a Demi-God, you gain advantages not available to other Barbarians and Chieftains.

  • Subscription to The Barbarian Times
  • Access to All Recipes
  • Access to All Chef Counseling
  • Access to All Travel Wisdom
  • Access to All Barbarian History
  • Access to Personal Recipe Box
  • Access to Personal Meal Planer
  • A Barbarian Demi-God T-Shirt
  • Free Copy of The Barbarian's Guide to Cooking

Meet The BarbariansFrom the Pages of History
Crush Your Enemies, See Them Driven Before You and Hear the Lamentations of Their Women!

Meet the TeamThe Barbarian Hoard
The Barbarian Hoard

Conan the Barbarian Chef
So, did Conan return the wayward taco of King Osric to his dinner plate. And having no further concern, he and his companions sought adventure in the West. Many cooking schools and chili cook-offs did Conan attend. Honor and praise were heaped upon his name and, in time, he became a chef by his own hand... And this story shall also be told.
Freya the Food Chieftain
Freya the Food Chieftain has Councled Chefs on Essential Kitchen Tips and Tricks and provided informative Gardening Help for the at-home gardener. Read her exclusive Cast Iron Chef Interviews and Reviews, and stay up to date with the latest Kitchen Equipment and Tools Reviews.
Leif the Traveling Wayfinder
Leif is a Wayfinder for travelers, nomads, wanderers, and adventurers on their journies through the world. For 8 years he was a Pathfinder for the Foreign Legion and circled the globe 3 times in their service.
Sigrid the Soothsayer
Sigrid is our resident historian and soothsayer. Sigrid says "You cannot plan for the future if you don't learn from the past".

A Barbarian's Meal Planer
A Random Selection to Get You Through the Day!

LUNCH

DINNER

DESSERTS

DRINKS

16
Recipes Cooked
4
Kitchen & Garden Tips
12
Cities Visited
4
Writing the Barbarian Past

Learn to Cook Like a Barbarian:

THE BARBARIAN'S GUIDE TO COOKING

The Barbarian's Guide to Cooking

Imagine this: The in-laws are marching over for a grand barbecue, and you, brave culinary warrior, are at the helm of the GrillMaster 5000. Your excitement sizzles like a steak on the grill, but alas! A twist in the tale – the BBQ sauce has vanished, gifted to the neighbors for their own feast.

What does a true Barbarian chef do in such a sauce-less predicament? Turn to the sacred scrolls on page #132 of your "Barbarian’s Guide to Cooking" and embark on a flavor quest!

  1. You could charge to your neighbor's stronghold, reclaiming the BBQ sauce with a triumphant roar.
  2. Or, you might summon your resourceful partner: “O noble companion, venture forth to gather the elixir of BBQ and, while you're at it, a six-pack of the finest ale!”
  3. Perhaps you'll face the elder chieftain (a.k.a. father-in-law) with a bold declaration, "Stand back, noble elder, for I shall concoct a BBQ sauce of legendary proportions!"
Choose any of these heroic paths, and there will be no doubt left in the realm about the kind of BBQ Barbarian you truly are!

Conan

Master Chef